It's not fair! As if i don't need it right?!
This late morning when I finally wake up, I know that my mom is very furious with me. Well, I am really sorry. Then my mom scolded me "Tak boleh harap!" (I cannot depend on you!)
Only when she said that, the thought that pops up in my head was, whenever my brother is going out, both of my parents always asked him whether he needed money or not. But when it's my turn, not even a single word came out from their mouth! Yes. they do not care!
I remember back once when I answered back to my father, saying "Why you keep giving him money?! You never give me money." My father said, "He's a boy. he needs the money more than you." I answered, " Oh then I no need ah?!" "Yes." he said flatly.
From then on, I don't bother asking him for money. But wait till I can't stand it anymore, I will just blow up to my parents, telling them that I rather steal than to get money from both of them. Stealing is more easier than getting money. Getting money as if passing through the immigration.
This is REALLY NOT FAIR!! I DON'T NEED MONEY? BULLSHIT! SOMETIMES I HAVE TO STEAL MONEY FROM MY SAVINGS JUST TO KEEP ME ALIVE!! LOOK, I DON'T ASK FOR MUCH, JUST THE CONCERN FOR ME THAT'S ALL. EVEN WHEN I ASKE THEM FOR MONEY, THEY STILL HAVE THE CHEEK TO ASK HOW MUCH I WANT! BUT FOR MY BROTHER, WITHOUT ASKING HE GETS $50 CASH!!! THIS IS DARN STINKINGLY BULLSHIT!!!!
I have a Phobia. Really.
For the past few days, I have been having this feeling of fear of going to school. Yes. Really. I am not kidding. I still remember when in pri 6. I was posted to Woodsville sec. So, I was so scared to come to school. Because I was afraid that maybe I will not be accepted there. I would get bullied. Well, that was 4 years ago. Now, I will be going to ITE Bishan. And yes, I am feeling the same fear of it. I am afraid if I can't cope with the studies. I also fear I will get lost in the school. Indeed the school is damn huge. What if I got lost and I will end up coming to class late. tehn I will get a scolding from my teacher. Then it will be very humilating. I can't stand that pressure. I just hope that I will get over this phobia.
Sleepy. Scolded the Angklung Members.
I am feeling so sleepy as I am writing this entry.
Yawn. Yawn.
I found out that one of my friend was being asked in a relationship. No, actually, there's 2 of them. i don't want to mention names- I am very bad at names mind you. I wonder when is it gonna be my turn to be asked to get into a relationship. hahaha!! Yawn. yawn.
It's not that I am desperate or anything. I just want to feel how is it to feel to be in a relationship.
Yawn. Yawn. Yawn.
God!!! I am really sleepy!! Arggh!! Anyway, I scolded the Angklung Members. They are giving me the 'I-don't-give-a-damn' look. i hate it when people do that. Especially someone who just answered me back. like wise, I am very bad at names. I just feel like telling that person, "Well, I don't also give a shit to you". So rude!! Irritating!! Look, SYF is only 10 days away, and their playing is still not expressive enough!! I feel like killing myself. OR!! I feel like killing all those who are not passionate on this competition. Basically, most of them except a handfull only whom I won't kill.
Anyway, I hope they will not embarrassed themselves on that day. Still keeping my fingers crossed!!
I did not write in because I was back home late a night. I was very tired of course. Yesterday at Singapore Conference Hall, it was drama. I can't believe that it would end up like this. The teachers there were making a lot of fuss about everything. They complaint about the smallest thing. The teachers kept scoldingthem until someone started crying. I thought, 'boy, I bet it's gonna be a chain of crying later'. True enough, it was. Go figure. I went back to SAC at around 11pm. When I was about to ask Lisa about the instrument, she was freaked out about the classroom and a toilet lights still on at the 4th floor. I took a peek, and it was true. At first I thought that maybe they forgot to turn the lights off. But when I look at the toilet lights, I could see movements inside. When I saw that, I quickly find my way out and just gave an excuse to go home. I was kind of scared to. It's a convent school. You'll never know who have been to that school and who have 'came back' to visit. you know what I mean right.
Gloomy day...Gloomy me...
The weather today is so gloomy. It's neither raining nor sunny. So does my mood now. I am eating yoghurt now. I didn't know that it tastes so nice. I just finished creating my friendster blog. It was fun. So, now, I have a whole new meaning to go friendster now. hahaah!!I am not working today. But I will go back to STC tomorrow and then go to Singapore Conference Hall for SAC rehearsal untill 1030pm. I hope I can last through the STC because the people there are so boring. The first bed that my family have ever bought is coming this afternoon. All this while, the bed that my family has was my aunt's. So, now the bed is shattered into pieces- Literally. hahahha!!! The bed was so old. We had the bed since I was primary 3!!! Imagine that!! wow!!!
I Love This Feeling Right Now.
Sorry for not writing for quite sometime now. Oops!! The weather right now is the most perfect weather for me. It's HOT! Woohooo!!! I am listening to Launch Cast Yahoo! on Classic Soul. Double Woohoo!!! The weather now is bloody HOT and I LOVE it!!! The skies are blue, the Sun is shining brightly and it casts shadows on everything the rays hit. WONDERFUL!!! Guess what I watched 'The Pacifier' yesterday. This will be my 2nd encounter- watching a movie alone. The 1st movie was 'Minority Report'. Hahaha!!! Guess I never told anyone yet. (TO THOSE WHO IS READING THIS, PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE IN MY FAMILY ABOUT THIS. I REPEAT DO NOT TELL.) It was so much fun watching movies alone because I can cry, laugh, make stupid comments to myself . It's even better to catch the morning movies. Because the theatre is empty and cooler. No noisy viewers and no one to block my view. All in all, it was superb!!!! The Movie was hilarious!!!! I shan't tell you more. HHAHAHA!!!Tonight there will be a movie on TV about 'What Women Want'. I love that movie. Well, I am so eager to catch it at 7:00pm later.
Classic Soul Rules Forever!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!
I am feeling so over the top right now. You can't guess why. Well, it's not that I have a new crush or something. It's because, right now, I am listening to Yahoo! Radio Launch. I am listening to song genre 'Classic Soul'. WOW!!! Artists like The Supremes, Stevie Wonder, Diana Ross and all other powerful soul singers!! They rock!!!! I am felling very very happy!!! I bet you would not believe me when I say that I am bouncing and grooving to the music while doing this entry. WoooHoo!!! Stevie Wonder is singin right now with the song I was made to love her. Peace Out!!!
My mom is feeling kind of sick...I am feeling kind of sick...
First of all, I am so sorry for not writing yesterday. This morning, as usual, I went for Sunday school. Today, Pope John Paul ll died. He was 85. Watching the great deeds he has made in his life on CNA was amazing. My nose is blocked and I keep sneezing non-stop. I just hope I don't get infected from my brother who has been sick since last 5 days. My mom is also experiencing the same thing. I don't feel really good.
Aahhh... Finally, I can sit down and have my rest. Today being April Fool's Day, I have not been fooled by anyone so far. I am still keeping my fingers crossed. If I have not been fooled, then it will be a record for me that I have broken.
This afternoon, there was a rehearsal at Macpherson. It was not good. You see, the problem with the group is that (A) They don't stretch their notes long enough. (B) They don't smile and move with expression. (C) They don't play music, they play blocks. (D) They are very very very slow in response.
Look, whoever is reading this and happen to be in Angklung at Macpherson, LISTEN UP: You all better buck up and make sure you all score that GOLD WOTH HONOURS!
Come on lah, this is not about being shy it's about being a performer- an artistic musicians. All I see in your faces are all hatred and boredom. Well, music is suposse to make you all 'Feel' the sensitivity of different kind of music. The dynamics changes in the song brings out a whole new meaning to the song. The volume shows how we articulate the song well. And the expression we show to the audience tells them that we are actually telling them a story by replacing the words into our music.
If all of these aspect all of you can muster, I don't see why we can't score the GOLD WITH HONOURS. If it is about stage fright; here's a solution. NEVER TAKE YOUR EYES AWAY FROM THE CONDUCTOR!! AND MEMORIZE YOUR SCORE!! That's all. And please BREATHE.........!!!!
That's all I can give to all of you. You all are a team united as one and delivering the song as one. DO IT OR NOTHING!!!
