Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Truth Hurts..

Yesterday I went for my early check-up with the Gynaecologist. It's regarding my irregular period. I've been going there for years and at every trip is the same news - I need to lose weight to get regular menses. And at every trip cost me $25. Not cheap I know.. But yesterday it finally hit me.

The day before (Sunday) I know that I have been eating a lot of fast food and I know I have not lost weight - which I told the doctor that I will work on it. I am such a BIG FAT LIAR! Plus I will get to know my blood test results. So yesterday I was rather worried, stressed, nervous and every anxiety feelings put together. When I reached KK Hosp, my mum said she wanted to have a drink or some light snack at the Food Court. I was tempted by the Yong Tau Fu there. So I decided to buy it. I chose fish cakes and some veg. Knowing that it will not only increase my weight last min. After eating I began to perspire - as usual, there's fuel in my body that needs to be converted into energy. Without giving much thought I proceed to the Clinic, registered myself and waited. I was still perspiring in an air-con place. That is not good because I would need to get my Height, Weight and BP taken. DOUBLE NO GOOD.

I rested for a while and took the measurements. My BP was HIGH!!! I told the nurse that I just came so she instructed me to rest for a little while longer and then take my BP again. At that point, my mind was racing and I hate that feeling. It's not good news. Around 10 mins later I went in again and the nurese took my reading. Still not satisfied, she took my weight - I was 122.2 kg as of yesterday! Nothing to be pround of. Then last attempt on my BP was 194/101 and my pulse was 102. THAT IS SUPER BAD! I COULD DIE ANY MOMENT. The look on the nurse's face was not encouraging. When my mum got to know of my stats, she freaked out! That freaked me out further! I perspired more!

A few minutes later I was called in. The doctor took my stats and say that I gained weight - 2 more kilos packed in my body. She said my BP is VERY HIGH and it's unhealthy. She kind of scolded me for not reducing my weight. She went on saying that exercising is difficult at first and I will get tired easily due to my weight. But with persistance, I will lose some weight. She said "Its how motivated I am to exercise. Because no one else will do it for you if you don't do it for yourself" Sounds familiar right? But that really got me. She said "I really can't do anything much unless if it's about your menses, I can give your medications for that. But you really have to reduce your weight and watch your diet. Other than that I cannot help you." She also mentioned that younger people are getting strokes and they die at a very young age. She also added before she let me go "You readings should not be like this (meaning my weight, BP etc..) considering you are at such a young age.." Woah... that really hit me right smack to the point.

Oh. Regarding my blood test results, there are no signs of Diabetes (THANK GOD FOR THAT!!!) but my Cholesterol Level is bit High (Oh NO.)

OK. I PLEDGE that I will start losing weight. I promise. I won't let my mother down anymore. I can't bare to see her worry for me. I will lose weight and be a better and healthier person for her. Never mind if I don't make it in my studies but in health its far more important to work for. I MUST BE MOTIVATED! GOD PLEASE HELP ME! THERE IS NO ONE TO HELP ME BUT YOU! PLEASE HELP ME.

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