Problems.
Today is the start of the EOY (End-of-Year) Exams. My school is very 'slow' in starting the exams. While other schools have last few papers or even ended the EOYs. I have no idea what the school system is becoming. Just before I am typing this, I read one of my friend's blog. It seems that she is still updating her blog regularly. I must say I am envious of her (NOT IN A BAD WAY ENVIOUS). First of all, she is SO PRETTY and looking at the pics makes me feel bad - in a sense that I do want to be pretty and be able to post nice pics of me in my blog too. I wish I can do more things in my life. Be more active in life and experience new things. Hunger pangs. This is my problem. I will feel hungry or crave for food at many intervals during the day. For example yesterday. I ate 2 slices of bread with jam for bfast at 7am. Then did some work in the lab and watched Korean Drama (Heartstrings). At 10:45am, my tummy 'croaked' (I could hear it even!) I ate a candy and it 'croaked' again 10 mins after. That made me think "Do I really have to eat again?" I can't keep on eating throughout the day! I will burst! - literally. I think through these years, I have been stuffing food and in a sense my stomach got expanded. So even when I eat a little (I try.) I will not be 'satisfied'. This is what I realised and I really want to change. It's about time that I do something about my eating habits. I need help. Seriously. Ok. my mind just went blank and I have nothing to report about today except for the weather is fantastic! HOT. Peace.
Truth Hurts..
Yesterday I went for my early check-up with the Gynaecologist. It's regarding my irregular period. I've been going there for years and at every trip is the same news - I need to lose weight to get regular menses. And at every trip cost me $25. Not cheap I know.. But yesterday it finally hit me.
The day before (Sunday) I know that I have been eating a lot of fast food and I know I have not lost weight - which I told the doctor that I will work on it. I am such a BIG FAT LIAR! Plus I will get to know my blood test results. So yesterday I was rather worried, stressed, nervous and every anxiety feelings put together. When I reached KK Hosp, my mum said she wanted to have a drink or some light snack at the Food Court. I was tempted by the Yong Tau Fu there. So I decided to buy it. I chose fish cakes and some veg. Knowing that it will not only increase my weight last min. After eating I began to perspire - as usual, there's fuel in my body that needs to be converted into energy. Without giving much thought I proceed to the Clinic, registered myself and waited. I was still perspiring in an air-con place. That is not good because I would need to get my Height, Weight and BP taken. DOUBLE NO GOOD.
I rested for a while and took the measurements. My BP was HIGH!!! I told the nurse that I just came so she instructed me to rest for a little while longer and then take my BP again. At that point, my mind was racing and I hate that feeling. It's not good news. Around 10 mins later I went in again and the nurese took my reading. Still not satisfied, she took my weight - I was 122.2 kg as of yesterday! Nothing to be pround of. Then last attempt on my BP was 194/101 and my pulse was 102. THAT IS SUPER BAD! I COULD DIE ANY MOMENT. The look on the nurse's face was not encouraging. When my mum got to know of my stats, she freaked out! That freaked me out further! I perspired more!
A few minutes later I was called in. The doctor took my stats and say that I gained weight - 2 more kilos packed in my body. She said my BP is VERY HIGH and it's unhealthy. She kind of scolded me for not reducing my weight. She went on saying that exercising is difficult at first and I will get tired easily due to my weight. But with persistance, I will lose some weight. She said "Its how motivated I am to exercise. Because no one else will do it for you if you don't do it for yourself" Sounds familiar right? But that really got me. She said "I really can't do anything much unless if it's about your menses, I can give your medications for that. But you really have to reduce your weight and watch your diet. Other than that I cannot help you." She also mentioned that younger people are getting strokes and they die at a very young age. She also added before she let me go "You readings should not be like this (meaning my weight, BP etc..) considering you are at such a young age.." Woah... that really hit me right smack to the point.
Oh. Regarding my blood test results, there are no signs of Diabetes (THANK GOD FOR THAT!!!) but my Cholesterol Level is bit High (Oh NO.)
OK. I PLEDGE that I will start losing weight. I promise. I won't let my mother down anymore. I can't bare to see her worry for me. I will lose weight and be a better and healthier person for her. Never mind if I don't make it in my studies but in health its far more important to work for. I MUST BE MOTIVATED! GOD PLEASE HELP ME! THERE IS NO ONE TO HELP ME BUT YOU! PLEASE HELP ME.
Updates...
Yes. The title says it all. Updates about my Life - What are my thoughts on situations, experience etc.. My current craze - be it Food, Interest ( this includes the one particular person that I am admiring...hehehe) Aspiration and all that jing bang. Hope I can get this sorted before I go crazy.
First of all I am listening to Blue Velvet by Bobby Vinton. Yeah. This song is as smooth as velvet itself. There's another version done by Tony Benett and KD Lang. It's a laid jazz -where I would love to listen on a romantic night. hehehe... No lah.. it's just a nice version. hehe..
Okay..Okay.. Updates. Right. Where shall I start. Hmm... Ok. This year being 2011, therefore I am 23 years old. Yes. Still single and always ready to mingle. (Haha. the last part is a bit random). I am currently working in a Science Lab as Lab Assistant (Relief - meaning I am a nobody. No authority. Have to work without benefits.) I started beginning of this year. There are a few aspects that I like about working for this position despite the minimal benefits. They are:
1. I am working at my secondary school. I was a student here therefore it's good to be back and see my teachers.
2. The school is only a 5-10 mins walk from home. HOW GOOD IS THAT? What's even better is I get to save money on TRANSPORT AND LUNCH. (Yes, my mum will send lunch to the side gate for me daily. DOUBLE GREATNESS RIGHT? BTW, canteen food sucked ever since I was still a student).
3. My working hours are from 7 am - 4pm. Nice. This also means I still can enjoy my social life with my dear friends or just with my mum. hee....
4. THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT: I've found an Eye Candy in School!!!!!! Yes.. He's a Science Teacher and it's BLOODY AMAZING to be able to see him. hee..... I will not disclose his name as I am afraid I might get discovered. I shall call him 'Mr ahem..ahem..'. Will elaborate more on him later in the post.
5. The pay is quite good. But too bad I couldn't save as much because I've been spending on Food, CD albums, more Food and treating my students/AK members. But I have been gving my mum $100 monthly to keep for our trip to BKK at the end of the year. Whooohoooo!!!!!!!!!
There you have it. A gist of my working life. Next is Interests.
1. I still love to EAT. That explains my Obese state. I just can't abstain myself from food. I hate myself for this.
2. I still love MUSIC. Genres that I still enjoy are Jazz, Classical ( Music from the 50s & 60s), Pop and the current beats. ( I don't know whether to call it Techno or Club music). AND my LATEST Crave is KOREAN Music! hehe..Yes. Kpop, Hallyu Korean Wave etc.. I am a current fan. From Music, Dramas (OH I LOVE THE DRAMAS!!! Way, WAY.. Better than what's shown on tv locally) and Variety Show AND AND!!!!! KOREAN FOOD!! Hanguk Eumshik! hehehe.. The Idol groups that I am currently a fan of are Super Junior and MBLAQ. Yeah.. will elaborate further in future entries.
3. I WOULD love to sing. Yes. This is the part that I still don't get to do freely and be good at it. Sometimes when I watch videos on Youtube singers sing as if its natural. I would like to sing like them.. Artists include Michael Buble, Adele, Amy Winehouse (Rest her soul) etc.. They have this unique voice that I'd love to have or develop. BASICALLY I WOULD WANT TO SING. Because it makes me happy and I feel like I am a different person when I sing. Well, too bad no one see my efforts. It's sad.. :(
End of My Interests. There are more but just not deep enough to be called interest.
NEXT! As I am constructing this entry I am HUNGRY! Canteen food sucks. My Mum is still not well from her cough - so no food sent. There is ABSOLUTELY no EDIBLE things in Lab for me to eat. When I am hungry I will be in a zone thinking of food that I'd eat when I knock off work later. Foods like Popeye's mash potatoes, Bibimbap, Dairy Queen Ice Cream sandwich, Sushi!!! and many more.. These are just the thoughts that I have in my as I am typing. The list is just getting longer.. Famous Amos cookies just came up. GOSH! I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON!
Got to end here. Got to pretend to do work. Bye.
Here I am again. It's quite peaceful in the lab now - except for the fact that Mdm Lee is sitting opposite me leaning back to rest. heheh... that's one good thing she got her spot there. No one can see her EXCEPT me. e
As I am writing this, I am listening to Angel's Cry by Mariah Carey and Ne-yo. It's a nice song. I'm putting it on repeat. Hehe. This morning I almost flared up at anyone I saw. First of all, I cam early (at 7 am mind you) signed my attendance in the GO (Gen Office). Guess who I saw? Ms Lau n Mr AhemAhem. Hehhe!!!! I shall not disclose his name as I am afraid I will be discovered. Hopefully no one in the school get to know about this blog! Or ELSE! Ok. I greeted Ms Lau and then I took the opportunity to look at him and maybe just maybe greet him too. But before I had the chance - which is due to my shyness.. he was already looking at my direction and gave a small short laugh. OOOOHhh!!! I WAS BLOODY DAMN HAPPY CAN?! Hehhe!!!
That gave me the strength and power to start off the day!
But my Happiness ended just minutes after. The stupid Datalogger course was not cancelled! I didn't prepare the apparatus and my HOD was already in the lab! That drove me insane!!! As I frantically tried to gather the apparatus I was cursing under my breath. At the same time I saw him already seated in the lab and I kept going in an out from Prep room. In the midst of the chaotic situation I was in I wondered did he see me? My face? My upset face? I hope he saw and wondered why I was so upset. hehehe. Yes... Still have the time to think of such things. But hey, what ever the situation is, face must maintain okay...! hehehe Also that calmed me down abit. Got me in control abit. hee...thank you ahemahem! LOL...
I will write more abt ahemahem... hehehhehehehhe
2011
Suddenly the thought of blogging came up. I know it's random and silly since my last post was almost a yr ago! Great.
Since keeping an actual diary is quite boring. Also when ever I want to write, there would be distractions. Be it at home or work. Damm. So I'll just try to blog as discreetly as possible.
I'm in the Bio Lab now. Waiting for 13:50 class and get over the practical. Sitting in the lab is THE MOST BORING EST job ever. All it does is get my already big bum BIGGER! Amazing. One good thing about it though, it's peaceful- meaning when the teachers and students are not around, i can actually ponder about things. Not that i have lots of things to ponder. BUt at least i can do some thinking/reflecting.
The one thought that came up from my mind is "When will I have courage." Courage in this sense is - courage to exercise and keep a healthy lifestyle. I've been putting this on hold for the longest time. It's bad of me but I can't seem to start. This is a bad habit that I need to tackle.
Ok got to go now. Need to prepare Bile Salts and Lipase Solutions.
Hello Blog World.
It's been more than 2 years since my last entry.
No I'm not D-E-A-D.
I've been contemplating whether to continue with this blog - or just delete it. Honestly, I can't remember my blog address. But i found it! Haha. Well, nothing much to say since it's been 2 yrs of absence.
However, I'm curious if anyone still bother to read my blog. hee...It would be good if there is a response. Hehe....
I'm having my mid-term holidays. 2 weeks; full of projects and doing other stuff. Speaking of projects, I'm having problems with my group mates. AGAIN. This time round, it's something that I do not wish to reveal as it might offend people reading this. SO, to save my ass, I shall keep quiet. IT'S HORRIBLY demoralizing.
Anyway, I started off my holidays with a big BANG! Literally! It's not a figure of speech. It all went like this:
It was a Friday afternoon. Raining. I was in the bus from Vivo. I was sitting at the upper deck at the front seat. The bus was going quite fast for a rainy day. Good in a way I can be home faster. But the bad part is about to happen. When I was along Serangoon Rd, I saw this tree branch hanging quite low. I thought to myself, the bus is gonna hit the branch. Apparently, it didn't stop. The next thing I knew, I shielded myself with my bag and the very next moment, BANG!!! I was just waiting for the branch to hit me. I really thought I was going to die. When the bus jerked to a stop, I saw the window broke and the glass all shattered onto my bag, both my arms and my suit cover. I even had glass fragments on my feet. I shivered and was so close to tears as I was THANKFUL that GOD spared my LIFE!! Thank GOD that I didn't faint. I was so traumatized for 5 mins. The bus driver just said SORRY and distributed COMPLIMENTARY TICKETS FOR THE DAY. ARGH!! DAMMIT!!! As I got off the bus, my right toe hurt and bleed. I went to find a seat and took out a piece of glass stuck in my toe. Luckily I managed to get it out. If not, I don't know what will happened. The funny thing was before the accident happen, I was listening to Jesse McCartney's Leavin - the part where he goes "Don't Stress...Don't stress...Don't Stress..." BANG!!! What a coincidence. HA! I even had the time to take some pictures as proof and memories for me that I was THIS close to Death. I'm indebted to GOD! That's for sure!
This was how it looked like:
The LEFT side of the seat was where I was sitting.
The broken window
Notice how if the branch were to pierce through? GOSH.
Tuesday (3 June) Went out with Trish, Kelly and Durga. Didn't watch movie. Just had dinner and walked around Bugis Village. When Trish and I met Durga, she needed to buy shoes as the one she was wearing was killing her. I cold see she was in pain. Aww..Kelly was an hour late. Nothing new from her. Heheh!!! Had KFC for dinner. Kelly had a wonderful consultation regarding How to Give a Good Presentation; courtesy from the VERY BEST Undiscovered Talented Consultants - Dr. Trish (M.B.B.S in Mass Communication) and DR. Durga (Ph.D certified in Insurance Advisor). It's a one-time opportunity for Kelly as these 2 consultants are very BUSY with their Daily Schedules and it was very GRACIOUS of them to spare some time for Kelly. Plus, IT's FREE!! Haha!
Before we left, we took some pictures in front of Goldheart Jewelry Shop. People passing by were staring at us.
Durga and Me.
Trish and Me. I'm terrible on Camera.
Kelly and Me. A bit blur. Hehe!
That's about it. Note to Trish, Durga and Kelly: "Please upload the other pictures. I want them. Thanks!"
